my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
