I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize