Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
