i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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