Sry I called you an 8
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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