I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
