I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
