your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
