I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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