Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
