Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
