I think im going to throw up on grandma
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
