I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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