cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize