Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
