How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize