My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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