so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
