when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
