Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
