I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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