Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
