I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
