Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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