his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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