So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
