I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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