shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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