How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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