Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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