We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
