There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize