my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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