I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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