Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I checked into jail on foursquare
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sorry my hands just texted you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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