the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
