in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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