I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
