I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
