Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
