I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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