Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
