I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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