"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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