I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
