Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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