He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Come see our sink grown plant.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I came so hard my ears popped.
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