Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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