The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This is classic penis vs brain.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
