It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
