Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
