Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
