He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
