Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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