yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
