"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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