Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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