he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
